Of Healing And Change

I love Angel cards.

Yogashala - healing yoga

Do you know these tiny affirmation cards? At the first day of our Summer vacation in the beautiful Rhodope Mountains in the south of Bulgaria, I had pulled the HEALING card.

Being four weeks away from duties meant no teaching or coaching for four weeks. Spending 4 weeks in a new environment was a great opportunity to pull my mind and habituated body out of their daily routines and allowed for new ones. It also offered a lot of time for healing. I had been pondering on the thoughts that I knew to be my next step on my healing path for a long time:

‘I need to stop putting whatever it is on my face. No cream. No lotion. No fluid. No oil. I need to stop doing it because I’m feeding the fear that my body itself couldn’t heal the last bits and pieces of eczema. And I know my body can do it! In fact I feel that I’m already healed.’

“Where you put your attention is where you put your energy.”

I’d lived with chronic eczema nearly all my life. I’d lived through severe periods of it. I’d experienced waves of healing. I’d never felt completely healed.

I’ve heard the above quote repeatedly since I’ve been learning from Dr. Joe (Dispenza). This break away from home and in such a nourishing and rich environment would be the perfect place to consistently put my attention on knowing that my body will heal if I step out of the way. For many years I had been preparing my final healing steps with therapy after therapy, thousands of hours of yoga practice, running, hiking, innumerable diets, extensive water fasts and many lifestyle changes. Besides that, I had been replacing old, limiting beliefs with new ones to accelerate my healing.

Things had improved significantly in the last couple of years. I love my work and had build a business and created an environment wherein I’ve been able to unfold my potential in teaching yoga and coaching people in movement, change and healing to my full satisfaction. The next step on my healing journey was to learn and consistently practice guided meditations. I also finally understood tiny bits of neuroscience behind why change is so hard and how I can bring it about. I learned that change is the key to bring about healing.

I stopped treating my skin by putting any creme or lotion on it.

From that day on none of my energy went into doubting my body’s healing capacity. Already in the second week I felt that I started to heal. The eczema doesn’t belong to who I am becoming. I’ll continue to change and transform into the person who will live a life in a healthy, strong and clean skin. I will change for as long as it takes to create patterns that the eczema doesn’t fit in anymore.

Change oftentimes requires us to let go. I was asked many times by therapists if I actually want to let go of the eczema. I asked myself that exact same question many times in my life. I can give a true and heartfelt answer, it is a clear YES.